Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(801): View more from Utah

Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.

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(805): View more from California

just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.

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(585): View more from New York

you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish

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(845): View more from New York

i can't find my house

(1-845): View more from New York

we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.

(845): View more from New York

i'm pretty sure my house moved.

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(206): View more from Washington

That's why there are breakfast margaritas.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.

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(607): View more from New York

I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out

(253): View more from Washington

why what happened?

(607): View more from New York

Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.

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(512): View more from Texas

It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?

(808): View more from Hawaii

I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.

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