ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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