if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
