I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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