you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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