awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just pee around me
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
