what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
