I wish I only lived at night.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
