hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
