Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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