I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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