OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
