I think I am morally bankrupt
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
