hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
