Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
