pedialite and red bull = repair kit
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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