I think my fart just growled at me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
