Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I think my moral compass just broke
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
