In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
