puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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