But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
