there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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