my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
