JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Farmville is her only friend.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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