these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize