i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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