i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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