He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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