my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
