i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
