Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So much Jack, so little girl.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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