Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
