It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
3pm strippers are depressing
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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