dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
