All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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