Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He had one of those small greek statue penises
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
