Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
