did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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