halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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