Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
