FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
thus making me awesome and them whores
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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