VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
