I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
