You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
