I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
