as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
