I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
