whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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