her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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