you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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