I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
