YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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