Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
