This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
