i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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