you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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