I feel like I'm in dance class right now
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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