he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
