So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
