Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
