i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
