fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
