ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
operation have a gay friend backfired
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
