Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
