we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
