Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
