hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
