wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize