If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
