dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
