what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
