Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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