whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
