you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
