Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
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